Dollars And Sense

By Mecca Donna

Let's talk rights and wrongs. Rights as in “a legal or moral entitlement or permission. Powers or privileges granted by an agreement or law.”and the wrong attitudes taken towards a particular necessity: the Mahr (Dowry). The Dollars and sense of the matter of Mahr seems to be increasingly misrepresented and worse misunderstood.

I have found that Muslim men are claiming “women's liberation” has eliminated the need for the Mahr. I have heard men who speak in the name of “progressive Islam” say they find it “offensive to have to buy a woman.” As I listen to all these so called progressive minds itemize the 'wrongs' with the Islamic safeguard that is the dowry, borderline denouncing the concept and equating it to prostitution, I find myself wondering if they were even taught the basics of why we practice this required sunnah\h. 

Islam is the true practice of women's liberation. Let's make sense of the matter. Before the advent of Islam women didn't have many rights. Even in the United States the concept of Women's Rights didn't materialize until 1848. Frankly, women's liberation had occurred already on a much larger scale with the onset of Islam. There were common practices of forcing women into marriages, not educating women, abuse of women and many other injustices. The parameters outlined in Islam forbid the many common practices of the time that proved to be unjust to women. Men were commanded by God to treat women kind, there was a limit placed upon the number of women a man could marry and there was revelation requiring a woman's permission to marry. Along with this there were many rights awarded to women that were never before practiced (and still isn't practiced in American culture). This practice is known as a Mahr or commonly called a Dowry. 

The dowry is by far the most liberating concept practiced in any country on the planet in regards to women's rights and entitlement. A dowry is a gift stipulated by the woman to be given to her upon marriage in Islam. The dowry is not optional and is not open for negotiation from the male. It may be a sum of cash, property or miscellaneous personal needs. Even a mixture of these things. A woman may ask for whatever it is she desires. Many like to erroneously assume this is payment in exchange for marriage- or even the women herself. However, this practice has a much more magnanimous and generous purpose! It is to ensure that women are owners of their own separate property and wealth. 

A woman's wealth in Islam is sacred and can not be taken from her or spent without her express permission. As a further protection, because men are required to fully maintain women, a woman is not required to spend her wealth at all. This is a safeguard for women who choose to stay at home and those who choose to enter into the work force. “Domestic engineers” as I like to call them are still very much entitled to their own separate wealth. The dowry ensures that every woman has a source of financial independence from that of her husband (even while he is financially responsible for her daily maintenance). 

Brothers, don't get your progressive Joe Boxers in a bunch. For you I remind the women they should understand that the dowry isn't to be unrealistic and should be reasonable according to who you are agreeing to marry and his ability to fulfill your right. Excessive materialism on the part of the women has no place here just as any disdain or refusal on the part of the men has no place. 

American culture, legislature and society are known to be the entities that the rest of the world emulates. However, we as women do not have any guarantee of wealth and stability when we marry. Women are not guaranteed their own wealth and men do not offer to secure that for them. Outside of Islam men aren't obligated to maintain their wives and often times don't make it their priority to. This clearly uncovers the fact that Americans too still have some progress to make in terms of freedom, justice and rights of women.

The dowry is a beautiful right regardless of any wrong -ideas voiced about it. [These] Dollars make perfect sense in the grand scheme of women's liberation.